Some gay men find that they have trouble making friends with guys after they come out. Making new friends with women is easy, but when it.
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- 31 Comments
- How to Make Friends in the Gay Community | HuffPost
- Gay student surprised his straight BFF wanted to be his spring formal date
- How to Meet and Make Gay Friends
Observe how they move, what they do, how they socialize and do the same things bro. Smile at them. Become an alcoholic and reeelaaax! Have you ever talked to anyone about that? What advice would you give this guy? Share your thoughts in the comments section… Get Queerty Daily Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of life advice dating stories and more 31 Comments Evji Actually the first suggestion has worked for me… Several men I hooked up with once or twice have become good platonic friends.
Use whatever resources you have available. I just talk to people wherever I go.
You can make gay friends at the gym, grocery store, etc. And if you are a regular at a bar, you start to meet people. Going to a bar during trivia night might be a good way to start. You can be adopted by a group who needs an extra player.
How to Make Friends in the Gay Community | HuffPost
Karaoke night might be good too. Joining a gay sports league or choir might be worth considering. Some establishments might be willing to host. You could also try taking a class. Basically get out there and try something and keep at it.
Gay student surprised his straight BFF wanted to be his spring formal date
Excellent points. Ahhh the age old question. This is a real and difficult thing. Same issue that many straight men and women have as well. Most of my other close acquaintances are women and straight men. There are social meet up groups though for those who are looking for friends or acquaintances so he should probably try that. I agree with him in avoiding the apps. I met some of my acquaintances by going on a ski trip. I understand where he is coming from, I certainly experience the same things. Not an easy prospect. It reminds me of being back in high school where you had to eat lunch by yourself.
Gay men at all ages seem to be obsessed with looks and sex and do not seem to understand the concept of friendship. Not all of my current friends approve of this plan!
How many guys in their 60s have the exact same attitude? A lot of them! Im 66,and you could be writing about me…. Regarding your comment about bartenders, I find that is not the case at all at the bars I go to. As someone in my 50s, I am much more comfortable going to the bar alone now than I was in my 30s. I know several of the performers and enjoy a good drag show, so I have two choices: Go alone or sit at home alone. Once I got comfortable with my own company, I made several friends, who, in turn, introduce me to their friends.
My circle of gay friends include guys as young as 24 and as well as men my age or older. You got to put yourself out there. When we build a culture based upon pervasive and long-term promiscuity, this is where we end up. Healthy relationships of all kinds are starved and made rare. Your best bet is to go to avoid the remaining strongholds of that old dying culture and seek out venues, events and people untainted by its stain. I like a lot of the suggestions here.
Not everything works right away, in terms of making friends, but the activity itself is still fine. Sometimes a little intense for an introvert like me, but I had to remind myself: One quibble. Become an alcoholic and reelaaax! Going to a bar one day a week hardly makes someone an alcoholic! And yeah, a few of my long-time friends are guys who were ONE time hookups… but we got to talking.
You may be thinking that using apps and websites seems silly, but many gay men have met the guy of their dreams by using these types of platforms. Popular ones include OKCupid and Gay. Some of these are free while others cost a small amount or charge a nominal fee for premium services. The great thing about apps and websites is that most all of them nowadays allow the user to input certain search criteria or filter out folks based on user preferences.
You can also check MeetUp for gay groups of common interests in your area. If you like outdoor activities, check out Gay Outdoors. If you are one of those people, you need to rethink this and do so quickly. According to recent research, there are 41 million people in the US who are currently looking to meet that special someone online.
This statistic does not speak to the number of single gay men specifically, but we make up a fair amount of that number. If you have tried dating using apps and sites before with no luck, consider using a different app. Scroll through your smartphone's options and pick something new. The idea here is to create change.
How to Meet and Make Gay Friends
Remember, dating is a numbers game. You have to put yourself out there in order to make it happen. And here is one final point on this suggestion—while Grindr, Scruff, and other apps are great tools for meeting people, keep in mind that some of these platforms are more sexually charged than others. There is nothing wrong with this but if your goal is to date, using the right app is important. We are talking millions! There are a number of fan pages and groups on Facebook that are specifically designed for gay men who are single and relationship-ready.
Remember, the people who are putting themselves out there are doing so with the same motivations that you are—to connect with someone for romance. Did you know you can search Facebook for people on your friends list that are single?
You sure can! You might be surprised. Of course, identification as single on Facebook depends on what the user indicates in their profile. But using this approach does allow you to see potential candidates. If they are an acquaintance, why not consider going out for a coffee?
Later on the both of you might figure out that was your "first" date. Again, what do you have to lose? As a population, we gays are very giving. Plus, many of us like to get all dolled up and go to events, like fundraisers for the different causes we support. Get rid of the wing-man. Why confuse folks? In this capacity, you help to fill the table by soliciting people for donations. As captain, you have control over who is seated at your table—which is a huge advantage for you!
Plus, you get to network with others who may be single and thereby expand your circle of available men. Go to the fundraiser with the mindset of supporting the cause you care about, but be open to meeting someone new. Attitude is everything. This particular suggestion has worked well for many gay men who were formerly single. Do you like photography? What about painting, fitness, biking, aviation, cooking, horticulture, and so forth? One of the great things about about taking a class is the built-in advantage of a shared interest! Many classes are free or at little cost.
You can find them by doing a Google search using your hometown or county in the search terms and seeing what pops up. Chose a community class you are genuinely interested in and not just one where you think all of the hot men will be. Remember, it is only a shared interest if it is genuine. This particular suggestion is a twofer when you think about it. First, you get the benefit of giving the gift of yourself to a cause you care about.
Second, you will undoubtedly meet new people. More than a few happily partnered gay men have reported that they met their man through this approach. And so if you care about the environment for example, why not contact your local Greenpeace? If your passion is supporting your local LGBT community center, why not call them to see how they can use your gifts? Some people worry about the time commitment required to volunteer for an organization.